Ask

Pedir

In recent months I have noticed the presence of a young man on one of the trains in Manhattan, which accordion in hand, makes a living giving away his art to the straphangers. It is very common to see him playing his music while waking from their deep sleep many surprised passengers. But one detail is quite striking and it is the fact that this young man is accompanied by a young woman with a baby attached to her chest. As the musician makes display of his talent, the girl asks for some money using a paper cup that has the word "love" written all over it.

The message is clear: I am a young father with a family to support.

As she goes around collecting money, her face is full of sadness and bitterness. The baby quietly sleeps hugging her neck and supported by elastic straps. Because of the physical state of both of them and the type of clothes they wear, it is clear and evident that they are both very well fed. It is not my call to judge whether the needs of these people are real or not, but I can tell you something. Just a few days ago I saw the same guy, this time with a different girl and another baby.

I could not help but to laugh.

If this is a farce or it is just that the man has two different couples and two different children, is something I do not know. The truth is that there is something in this story that catches my attention and it is the fact that the musician thinks that in order to ask money, he must resort to take his partner (s) and child (children) (actual or fictitious) to the subway. It is as if he was looking for another reason to validate his act of asking. Beyond judging the act as pure manipulation, his behavior denotes an unhealthy concept of the act of asking. 

Unfortunately the vast majority of people, see the act of asking, in any of its forms, as a shameful act and when we do it, we look for a thousand of excuses to justify it.

 It is perfectly valid to make a living by playing an instrument and expecting some compensation in exchange for the gift that his music gives to our ears -This regardless of what the Metropolitan Transportation Authority of the City of New York thinks about it- However what could be an enjoyable experience for our senses, ends up becoming an uncomfortable situation where the troubled face of the girl collecting the money, takes away all the grace to the act of giving and receiving. All this because this young man thinks or believes that he should justify his act of asking with additional reasons.

And he is not the only one ...
How difficult is for us to ask!

We are the first to want to give when the opportunity arises. Many even do it as a sport. But we feel a great discomfort when it is our time to be the beneficiaries. Moreover, asking is the catalytic agent of receiving.  We panic because we see it as a direct affront to our pride.
Perhaps we should remember that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. 

Opposite poles of the same action. 

And this action is loving. 

When we give, we're giving love in one of its ways -We have already talked about that love is more than hugs, kisses and sweet words-

When we ask, we are inviting the universal source or our neighbors, to set in motion the power of love. Simultaneously, when we receive, we are vessels of the love that others have to give. And there’s nothing wrong about it. The Bible says, "Ask and it’s given"

The only way you get in life what you want, is by asking God for them. And God is not going to literally extend his arm to help you. It will help you through circumstances and neighbors.

So now you know. 

Giving and receiving are the same action. Do not be afraid to ask.

As long as you're willing to give back, through actions of love, with your talents or services, you will be participating in the natural flow of the most important force of all.

Starbucks' Perfect Girl

Chicadestarbucks

Sitting in a Starbucks in Manhattan, I am about to write an essay on appreciation and the magnifying power of it. I have an idea of ​​what I want to write, but I still haven’t figured out a story to carry the message. So like any good distracted writer I start to watch videos on YouTube; especially one in particular that I’m obsessed with. The star of this video is a young woman so gorgeous that it seems to me that nature just wants to show off. The amazing thing is that the more times I watch the video and the more times I look at the girl, the more beautiful she seems.

 As I am watching the video, a young woman asks me if the seat in front of me is available. I say yes on autopilot because I'm too busy admiring this masterpiece that I mentioned above. I ignore her and keep oscillating between starting to write my essay or to keep watching videos. Suddenly I realize that right in front of me I have an angel fallen from heaven. The protagonist of the video falls short next to the extraordinary natural beauty of the young woman that is seated across the table.

For these things I have always been very discreet, so I decide to remain indifferent and to continue working on my stuffs. But on several occasions I find myself averting my eyes from the computer over and over again, just to look at her furtively. She promptly caught me on the game. Embarrassed, I tell the girl the first thing that comes to my mind.
- Is the wifi working properly? -
She laughs. Obviously she doesn’t buy my excuse. She knows it has not been a casual and unique look. So with a hint of shyness and with a tender smile, she replies with a concise:
 -Yes-
It is at this moment that I notice it.

By the angle that my temporal muse is sitting, I could not notice before, a huge scar that runs from her right earlobe, across her cheek and ending just above the upper lip. Certainly a very visible mark.

During my years as a journalist, I met people who had been attacked with knives. Some of them with scars over their faces. Definitely this girl’s mark is not the result of an operation. Maybe she was the victim of crime or maybe someone upset by her beauty decided to mark her forever.

It is here that the second indiscretion of the evening happens. She has realized that I noticed her scar and now her skin blushes to the extreme.  She is uncomfortable and embarrassed.
I try to save the situation by saying anything:
-I think it's my computer that is running slow. Maybe it’s not the wifi-
Maybe I managed to salvage the awkward moment. She gives me a pretty reasonable suggestion.
-Try restarting your computer. -
She briefly smiles and turns to her own. I still have my writer’s block, not knowing how to start writing this essay on appreciation. So I return to the You Tube Video. The goddess dances and dances, while her wavy hair falls sensually over her face.

The angel of the scar has also covered one side of her face with her hair.
I feel guilty.
While the video of the divine perfection is in instant replay, my desire to tell this young woman  that she is the most beautiful thing I've seen in a while, keeps growing. I want to tell her that the more I look at her, the more I appreciate her, the more beautiful I think she is. I want to tell her that with such beauty and harmony, no marks or defects are an excuse to be rejected or criticized.
But I remain silent.
I know that deep inside she knows, that even with her scar, she is a wonderful work of art.

Brahman's Lucid Dream

Brahman

Recently I learned about the “strange” behavior of some sub-atomic particles, some of them very puzzling. Many of these particles change states according to the expectation that the scientist who is studying their behavior have of them. Many of them can even look and behave differently if two scientists are watching them simultaneously.
 

Could this be the irrefutable evidence that “reality” and matter are likely to be modified according to our expectations and beliefs? Is it not correct to assume that if the fabric of reality in sub atomic levels could be altered and modified according to our beliefs and expectations, maybe this could also take place within the macro cosmos? Is not this evidence that space-time reality is malleable?

Many quantum physicists believe so. In fact in his book "The Holographic Universe" Michael Talbot, gives an account of all the research and findings from scientific studies in this area. Some of them have been done with the most meticulous rigor. One of the conclusions is astounding: Our reality maybe a hologram of our mind. 

And this mind is not exactly located in our brain, which works only as a receiver (similar to a radio), but part of an intelligence field that permeates everywhere including our body. An intelligence field that creates matter, including the brain that focuses consciousness on this dimension.

If physical reality is a hologram of our mind…

If this reality is likely to be shaped according to our desire and expectation...

Is there then an objective reality? What is the ultimate reality?

It's a question of thousands of years and many spiritual traditions such as Hinduism, have come up with explanations that today many quantum physicists have begun to take more seriously. There is a Hindi "myth" I remember having studied at some point in my high school years: The myth of Brahman. According to this legend, all that exists is Brahman and we all live in its dream. This seems to me very consistent with the idea of ​​the universe as a hologram of the great universal mind. At the end of the day what is a three-dimensional hologram but an illusion!
Now, if this universe is but the dream of Brahman, then all objects and people in this universe are Brahman.  Maybe, as proposed by the Gestalt psychology.

The Gestalt approach perceives objects, especially living beings as part of a whole. In Gestalt "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts". According to this concept, in a dream all persons and objects involved are actually projections of the sub conscious dreamer.

We are living in a historic moment.

I am under the impression that Brahman is beginning to discover that it lives in a projection of its   own being. And as if it were in its own lucid dream, it has begun to experiment with its environment. It has found that sub-atomic particles are malleable and now it has begun to infer that this may be possible at larger scales.

It has begun to discover that all the things and people are merely aspects of its own personality and it is determined to transform its world...
 

Mixing a little bit of Quantum Physics, with Gelstat and Metaphysics

What I Believe

Whatibelieve

We are the same being coexisting simultaneously in different historical moments, forms and situations. A creative being that is experiencing itself, disguised in multiple inventions. We are constantly expanding. We find impossible to conceive our non-existence because we have always existed. It is inherent to our nature.

We are pure consciousness that materializes and dematerializes in a blink of an eye. Sometimes slower and attuned to our beliefs, other times, as fast as it does when a yogi materializes fruit out of thin air. Our game is a game of form and expression. With every wish, our universe literally expands. The possibilities of our creation are endless, because so is our mind. Our building mechanisms are the emotions, focus and thought. We create all the time, often without being aware of it. We are the architects of our reality and our universe whether we think is possible or that is a process beyond our control in a cold, dead and impersonal universe.

When we create by default, when we live a life focused on what we want and yet focused on what we do not want, our perception of reality is full of combinations that may not prove to be the most pleasant. Through these experiences and contrast, we reach conclusions about what we experience. But we never stop to ask because asking is also part of our nature. But most of our requests are of a vibrational nature. And this is because the universe is essentially vibration, as it is matter in its sub atomic levels. Emotions are vibrations that have the ability to resonate with similar elements. We cannot attract that with which we are not in resonance. Our emotions, expressed or latent, have more creational power than our thoughts or words. Requests that are made with emotion -desired or undesired, conscious or subconscious- have the power to transform our reality. These are requests, which create a stronger vibration pattern and literally move the parts that give rise to manifestation. As we never abandon our non-physical aspect, that part of us that is still connected to our higher self, literally alters the fabric of the universe and becomes the conceived idea. 

We are the question and the answer.

The observer and the observed.

The desire and the fulfillment of the desire.
 

We insist on blaming others and outside forces for our successes and misfortunes. But we forget the fundamental fact:
We may not be the same human, but we are the same being.

We are solely responsible for the events that happen around us, as the only reality that exists is ours:

The reality of being. 

A reality that exists in many ways, simultaneously but also individually. A reality for which there is neither time nor space. A hologram of the incredible universal mind altered at will by the power of our mind and our emotions.

And like a hologram, the whole is in each part and each part is in the whole. 

So wise was Jesus Christ, when he said: "What you do to another is as if you were doing it to yourself"

That is the beauty of our existence.
That is the beauty of our universe.


Decision Makers

Decision_making
I've met many people in my life, that once they make a decision, they won’t change it. Even if planet Earth falls over them. In this regard I have heard many opinions, some of them favoring this point of view, others against it. Napoleon Hill, for example, said that one should be quick and decisive when making decisions and slow and careful when changing a course of action. At the other end of the spectrum we have people who think that a change of mind is not necessarily synonymous with weakness. They say that we have to be flexible and open to the unexpected turns of life. Proponents of this argument suggest that a change of mind or correcting a course of action is part of the natural cycle of life. "Be like palms when facing the strength of hurricane winds. They do not remain rigid, rather they bend. Because of this, they survive"

Sometimes I ask myself what is the correct approach since both points of view, in my personal opinion, have their merits.

On one hand making a decision and not changing our mind, no matter what happens or what we feel, demonstrates strength of will and character. These are qualities that are generally considered admirable and help a lot in our lives, especially when it comes to discipline. Robin Sharma in his book "The Greatness Guide" tells us that a great leader is not necessarily the one that makes the decision most popular, but the one who makes the right decisions. Usually people who are unwavering in their decisions prove to be very methodical and practical people. They have great success in implementing businesses and most of the times, they are natural leaders. They remain steadfast however difficult the decision may be, because they think about the final result and on the appropriateness of their actions. For them, any sacrifice or collateral damage incurred, pales in significance when compared with the end-result.

 On the other hand we have those who change their thinking more than they change underwear. If they make a decision, the next day they are changing it because they have given second thoughts about it and they have arrived to another conclusion. These people justify themselves saying that they are flexible and open to all points of view. Usually they are very emotional and they leave to their moods their thinking. They tend to be very intuitive, creative, and needless to say that they are very temperamental. They usually have the ability to anticipate trends and are open to trying new experiences and / or switching careers.

Will there be somewhere in between? Is there a point of view that combines the best of both worlds?

I think so.

And I think the magic formula is simple. If the decision that we have made is justified by the circumstances, not causing irreparable harm to others and goes in harmony with what our heart tells us, we must stand firm. And some may say that our heart must be removed from any decision taken.  Those kinds of people forget that our heart, our sixth sense, our emotions, all of those things are the bond we have with our higher selves.

And our higher self knows much more than a million human brains combined. 

Just as following our passions regardless of reason makes us look like animals, just following reason without taking into account our heart make us look like robots.

So what works for me is the following:

I reach conclusions based on reason, but if my heart tells me that executing them would be a crime and if they would cause more harm than good, then these conclusions will remain merely as conclusions and I don’t act on them. I am dedicated to look for the best in my current circumstances. Before committing an atrocity, I prefer not to act. The nice thing is that when I work to find the positives aspects in a person or circumstance, any unpleasant conditions change and there is no need to make nasty decisions. Life itself provides me the picture I'm looking for, with effortless action, because I have focused only on the positive aspects. I've learned that removing the unpleasant is not the solution.

Wherever I go, I take myself.

Wherever I go, I bring the same thought patterns. 

Over time the same circumstances and people will show up again in my life. Only with different names or scenarios.

That does not mean that occasionally I have to make tough decisions. Decisions that can cause much pain at the time but that later could result in a positive outcome. But before taking them, I check if my heart also agrees with them. And like the palms that have the ability to bend when facing hurricane winds, if my decision proves to be obsolete or harmful, I have the ability to correct my course. 

Stiffness will only bring about my own destruction.

 

 

Love is not for the weak

2

Many times we go through life thinking that love is a fairy tale, a corny sentiment, and we just think of it, in its romantic dimension.

When love is something beyond that. 

In fact, those most reluctant to this word, those people who call themselves cold, sarcastic, intellectual, not emotional, etc, etc, they experience love every day, even without realizing it.

I mean, everything we do in the day, all we want to be, everything we do, we do so because of  love to someone or something. This is the force that inspires you to do just about anything. And  love is much more than the feeling you have for your partner, family and friends. Love is truly a force of nature. And as every force is a powerful force. This is what many call it the law of attraction, or the life force.

So powerful is love,that without this force there wouldn’t be virtually anything in your life. Everything you see around you, has been built by love and passion. Look around and ask yourself if you think that there is something that’s been created, which has not been built by this force. In order to create you need motivation, and ultimately what is motivation but a breath of love and desire.

We're talking about a force that moves you, and moves the entire universe. It is the force that when you decide to use it, all doors open up for you. Even the most cynical people, responds best when treated with love, than when given a bit of their own medicine. Do the experiment and give love to someone who is constantly in a negative vibe, and see what I mean. I assure you that if you decide to use love in all the actions that you undertake in the day, you’ll see better results than when you perform those actions without passion. 

This is why love is the key to open the doors in your life. And this doesn’t mean you're going to go around, giving hugs and kisses to everyone. What this means is that every person you meet through the day you'll give them your best. Everything you do in the day, you're going to do it giving your best efforts. Giving the best of you.

If you give your best to all the people that you share with... If all the things you do, you do them giving the best of you. Don’t you think then that everyone will want to be by your side? Don’t you think then that because you are giving all your effort to what you do more and more doors will open?

This isn’t a feeling for the weak. This isn’t a feeling for the hopeless romantics or for hippies talking about peace and love. This is a force that you want to use to enjoy life and get the best out of it. And I invite you to use it every day. I encourage you that any action you take becomes an act of love. Give love to all, even your so called enemies. 

Now, beware, love is a discipline. And like every discipline you need to work hard at first.

But like every discipline, too, if you stand firm in the habit gradually it becomes second nature. And that's what you want. Let love be your nature. You will see at the end that embracing life with love, is more an act of strength and power, than an act of weakness.

 

I invite you to discover my inspirational poetry: http://amzn.to/oPgizi

Infinite Intelligence

Manifestation_101

One of the things that trouble the most when we undertake the habit of thinking positively is believing that things are really going to be okay though circumstances tell us otherwise. And it is the act of believing, the necessary ingredient to really make things go the way that we want. If there is faith there is no result.

Many masters have said it, beginning with Jesus Christ.

People who have achieved the greatest success in life know the power that affirmations have. Many people do not know it, but constant repetition of thoughts and words has the power to transform reality. This is the greatest power we have and it is more powerful than all the effort we could put through physical action. And this is not about underestimating action, but to acknowledge that action without faith becomes pointless. You need that dose of faith to make things happen. But it is not enough to repeat, we must believe, feel and put emotion to those mantras that we repeat constantly. It is useless to say things without truly believing.

In his book "Think and Grow Rich" (One of the books that you will find has been read by the most successful people on the planet) Napoleon Hill talks about the power so great that autosuggestion has in the development of our goals. Joseph Murphy in his book "The Power of your Sub Conscious Mind" also mentions it. But how is it possible that repeating a phrase constantly and believing in a "fantasy" make things happen? To understand this, one must understand how our mind works. Our mind is divided into two parts: Sub Conscious Mind and Conscious Mind.

What we commonly refer to as our mind is actually the aware aspect of it. The conscious mind is what we identify as the "I". It is responsible for acquiring knowledge and making decisions.  It uses your five senses primarily. It is the part of our mind that is responsible for dealing with external objects and the objective world. Your conscious mind learns through experience, education and observation. Its greatest feature is the reason.

Your sub conscious mind is aware of your environment, but not through the physical senses. It perceives by intuition. It is the home of your emotions and your memory files. Your subjective mind performs its most complex work, when your physical senses are not working. It is the intelligence that is present when the conscious mind is suspended or in a drowsy state, trance or hypnosis. It can do without using the physical organ of vision. It also has wonderful powers, since it has the ability to see and hear at a distance. Believe it or not your sub conscious mind has the ability to leave your body, travel to other places, and provide you with clear, safe and reliable. I know it sounds like fantasy and difficult to believe, but it’s the way that it actually works. Your subconscious mind is part of the Infinite Intelligence, and it is omnipresent. It is also in charge of your bodily functions. It is the intelligence that knows exactly what nutrients you need and the amount of them in order to keep your organs alive. It knows how to digest food, how to beat your heart, how to heal tissues. It knows how to do all of these things, but it doesn’t know how to explain it or how to reason about it. It just knows.


Now let's analyze the relationship between the two structures of our minds in order to understand how they work together:


Your sub conscious mind is not able to discuss or dispute what you say. If you give wrong information, it acts as if it were true. The incredible thing about this is that your sub conscious mind, will seek ways to make it happen, any premise, even the most foolish. Everything that has happened to you in your life, has happened because of the thoughts you've imprinted your sub conscious mind with. It has happened through your beliefs. As this mind is our link with the universal mind, anything that we genuinely believe will become a reality. So when you have a particular view about the world and you believe in it completely, you see more and more and more evidence that your vision of the world is the one that is real. Your sub conscious has moved heaven and earth to do so. Your world is a self-fulfilling prophecy: What you truly believe about life is what you get, believe it or not.

 It is a law of the universe, as impartial and objective as the law of gravity.

Your conscious mind is the guardian of that power so powerful (the sub conscious mind). One of its main functions is to protect the subjective mind of false impressions, because the sub conscious is pretty sensitive to suggestions. As we know, the subjective mind does not reason and does not dispute. These are characteristics that belong to the objective mind. Your sub conscious mind is responsible for taking all of what the conscious mind dictates and look for physical and nonphysical means to realize them. The thought pattern your objective mind sets determines whatever grows inside your sub conscious. And what grows in this wonder, is what eventually reality becomes. If you have the pattern of thinking positively, you will see that your environment becomes pure harmony. If you think negatively, if you're obsessed with your fears, just do not expect paradise.

This is why if you want to get great results in life, you should start first by stating and repeating many times, both verbally and mentally, the person you want to be and the goals you want to achieve.  A belief is only a thought that you keep repeating. Once you believe, you're heading nonstop to the manifestation of your dreams.

But of course, you can also choose to believe that none of these stuffs that I’m talking about are real. And of course, life will bring you up evidence of the absurdity of my arguments.

Masters of Our Universe

Hemanskeletor

There are people who inhabit our world, which seem to have come into our lives for the sole purpose of making them miserable. In many cases they are the people closest to us. Sometimes they are ephemeral characters. We try by all means, to get rid of their undesirable characteristics. Sometimes we even try to get rid of them. We do not realize that these people have come to train us to be the best version of ourselves. These people help us define who we really are. These people are the true masters of our universe, because through how we react to their behaviors, we define if we get stuck in the same patterns of thought, inflexibility, or intolerance.

Each time these people show up, ask yourself:

Why are you in my life?

What do you want to teach me?

What am I thinking or feeling to continue popping up again and again the same scenario?

Many people believe that people never change.  But what never changes is our thoughts of the same subjects.

With just a change of mentality.

With just a change of focus.

With only a little reflection.

Everything could change. 

The Importance of Being Selfish

Selfishness_1

I hear often, people complaining about their mates. Some of them say their mates are the incarnation of evil. Some people only talk about their relationships when things are going wrong.  Eventually these people end up breaking their relationships with their mate and almost immediately they find someone new.

The first months everything is perfect. “Oh he’s so charming” “oh she’s so beautiful’

But then the same story repeats. Suddenly that charming person becomes the terrible inquisitor of medieval times. Suddenly that charming person is the perfect definition of the word “flaws”.

Why does this happen? Why everyone is so cool in the early stages and then suddenly they “change”?

Why do we keep attracting the same kind of people to our lives?

I’ve been reading a few books about the topic, and combined with my personal own experiences, I have found some insights that I will like to share. The first weeks, or the first months of a relationship, we are giving each other our absolute undivided attention, we live for each other. But in time, naturally, our partner gets involved with other stuffs. Some of us could not tolerate it and so we become resentful. Sometimes we are aware of that feeling, sometimes we are not.  Since we believe that the other person is our source for happiness, we expect them to fill the void that we feel.  As we see that our partner is not responding the way that we want, we feel empty and we start noticing “flaws”.  As we notice “flaws”, the other person gets annoyed and so this other person begins noticing “flaws” too.

And hell begins.

“She doesn’t appreciate me enough and she is getting fat!”

“He’s so selfish, he only cares about himself and the way he feels! How about me! How about me! How about what I want, how about the way I feel!”

So we walk away of the relationship, and in time we begin another one. Looking for that “selfless” person that will be all about me and who agrees in everything.  That person that will prioritize my feelings over theirs.

When the truth is that we are all selfish.

And it is the only way of being. 

We have no other way of seeing life than through our own experiences. That’s the only perspective that we have and everything that we analyze, desire or live, we are doing it through our own being, and through our own unique point of view.

This is why is so hypocritical to criticize someone of being selfish, when the truth is that we are all selfish and what lies beneath of our criticism toward another person is an unconformity toward the other person’s behavior or point of view.

 A behavior or point of view that does not adapt to OUR way of seeing life.

“You’re not behaving the way that I want and you’re annoying me. You’re selfish and you deserve to be punished!”

We may be empathic and that’s the most we could do. The truth is that sometimes empathy is more of a fantasy than a reality. Most of the times we really have no idea how the other person feels, we’re just imagining it. I remember that at funerals I used to say “I’m sorry”.  I had no idea what it felt to lose someone close.  It took me losing my father to finally understand and to really mean that “I’m sorry, I know how you feel” at funerals.

 You cannot expect that people see life the way you do if they have not lived your life or at least similar circumstances. The only person responsible of your own happiness, the only person that will truly understand you, the only person that is going to be always in total agreement with you is ONLY you. This is why you cannot enter into a relationship with the idea of filling a void, because that’s no one business except yours. To be truly happy in a relationship first you must be truly happy with yourself. If you don’t, you will drag to your new relationship all those dissatisfactions from previous relationships that after the initial “honeymoon” will show up. And of course the more flaws you see in another, because of the infallible law of attraction, the more they will multiply and so will be on the other side.

Until the relationship is doomed and you walk away trying to find your perfect mate again.

So what to do?

If you’re in a relationship, do some “interior work”. In other words, work with yourself. Acknowledge the fact that the only person responsible for your own happiness is you, ONLY you. Stop expecting the other person to fulfill all your needs. You need to find alignment with your source first. The most important relationship you will ever have is your relationship with God, which in a way is the relationship that you have with your own self. Cultivate your own spirituality, meditate, do yoga, read books on the subject, whatever.  Do things that satisfy you, that bring you joy. Explore your potentials, be truly happy with yourself and then, once you’re happy with who you are, focus on the good things that your mate has.

Everyone has the potential to be hell or heaven. It’s only where you put your attention on that will determine the outcome. If you’re in a relationship that IS NOT verbally or physically abusive (notice the exception) before walking away, you should work first with yourself. Then, why not begin noticing all the great things that the other person has? You will see great improvement and also you will notice that much of your dissatisfaction with the relationship was product of your own dissatisfaction with yourself, or because of your expectations that the other person needs to behave or to think according to your own expectations. The grass will always look greener on the other side, but once you get to the other side, the other side will always look greener. That perfect new candidate that is whirling around may prove to be more of the same in the future, which takes me to the next topic:

Why do we keep attracting the same kind of people to our lives?

Because we are offering the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same vibrations.

If you’re more focused on the things you don’t want in a relationship, more of what you don’t want in a relationship will come, time after time. The only way to get rid of all those nasty matches in your life, is to focus on the things that we want in a relationship. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because someone kicked you off. Stop revisiting your past. Stop playing the victim. The most dissatisfied people I have seen with their relationship are the people that are always complaining about their previous relationship.

If you want to start from scratch, if you want to have the relationship that will make you fly, you have to stop revisiting your past, or more of the past will come.

 And again, in order to have the relationship of your dreams, you must work with yourself. You need to make yourself happy if you really want to make other people. There’s no value in giving to other people when you have not given to yourself first. Among the most resentful I have met in my life, are those who are boasting that they think in other people first. When you do that, just for the sake of being considered the new Mother Theresa or because you think is the right thing to do, you’re draining yourself out and you’re depriving the other people to get the best version of yourself. And in order to give the best version of yourself, you need to find your joy, you need to find your alignment with God, you need to be comfortable in your own skin and you need to love yourself. Only then you will be in the best position to give to others. Only then you will be able to attract the right people to your life. Only then you will have the beautiful harmonious relationship that you’re looking for.

I Am Any Boss' Worst Nightmare

Angryboss

There was a time when I had conventional jobs. No acting, no writing. None of that “fancy artsy” stuff. I was a telemarketer, funeral salesperson, store clerk, waiter, customer service representative, etc. I’ve been working since I was fourteen years old. At first during the summers, because my parents wanted me to learn “how hard” was to earn money, later to support myself as a college student. I’ve had almost any job a young man could have.

 Everything, except being a stripper.

I have two college degrees, one in communications and another one in drama. After graduating from college I worked as a reporter for a while.

But I was not happy.

I was constantly bombarded by negative news, and my point of view toward life and the universe, deteriorated. I worked as a reporter because I thought it was the only way I had to earn a living. I was getting no satisfaction and I felt I was wasting my life doing something I didn’t want to.

 I was not happy.

 I hated my job, and consequently I was attracting many negative events to my life and career.  My life was sinking in every possible way.

Until one day,  that I said “No more”

Following a chain of unpleasant events, that included being trapped in a South American Country, I finally ended up quitting my job.

Never to return.

My days as a reporter were over, for good.

I decided that I wanted to pursue, as a full timer, my other career. I wanted to be a full developed professional actor. So I started concentrating my focus and attention on that. I was having for the very first time the satisfaction that I was earning money, out of something that I really loved to do. But I wanted more. I wanted to continue my career as an actor in mainland U.S.  Eventually I decided to move back to New York (I had previously lived there during my college years) and continue my career there.

My decisions to quit my job as a reporter, becoming a full time actor, and moving eventually to NYC brought to my life many major consequences. Among them being far away from my family and daughter, and chronic depressions once I was settled down in the city.

But I had to do it.

I was so dissatisfied with the overall picture of my life that if I hadn’t gone, I probably would have ended up in a mental hospital.  How an actor became an inspirational writer and how I ended with those perennial cycles of ups and downs, is the subject of another reflection that you can read in my blog http://bit.ly/qF34AN

But that’s not the point today. The point is that you need to follow your bliss and that you cannot stay in a job that does not make you happy. It does not matter how much money you’re earning there. If it doesn’t make you happy, it won’t pay off.

An unsatisfying job, an unsatisfying career path,could take you to the end of abyss. Many people just don’t know, that the reason they’re so unhappy, so depressed, is because they have enslaved themselves to a job that is killing them.

If you don’t do what you want with your life…

If you don’t find joy living your days…

You’re castrating your dreams and your creativity.

You’re a creator, and when you don’t create, you stagnate.

It happened to me.

However I cannot regret having the job experiences I had, because with them, I experienced contrast. And with contrast I got very clear what I want and what I did not want.

During my years having regular jobs I discovered a few things about myself that helped me define the person that I am. Maybe we share some of this traits:

1)      I value freedom over money.  Having my daily schedule controlled, my vacations days counted, and over working when I’m exhausted is not for me, and I don’t think it is for anyone. I don’t care how much money I’m paid, if my mobility and freedom is compromised, that job is not the right for me.

2)      I believe that there are many multiple “right ways “of doing things. I believe that as long as you’re an expert in your field and as long as you’re giving your best, there’s no right or wrong ways of doing things. We’re all creators and because of that, we all create differently. Imposing other people your ways of doing things is attempting to their creativity.

3)      I prefer to be self employed.  Companies have their vision, companies have their goals. Good for them. I have my vision and I have my goals. I’m not a follower, that’s only for Twitter. I’m a leader. It’s great to be a follower and work for someone else’s vision, as long as it is what you want. That’s not what I want and I act consequently. I like to put a price on what I do. I also believe that hierarchies are only a way to perpetuate  egos. 

4)      I like to put my multiple talents to the service of others.  I write inspirational stuff but I still love acting, if given the chance, I will do it again. I’m also an ESL tutor, a professional translator, and most recently, an amateur tour guide. I like to have the freedom to exercise my talents whenever I want.  I wasn’t born with a label on my forehead that reads “I’m going to be this for the rest of my life” I am a multi talented man and so I exercise my right of doing multiple things, whenever I want. If one day I decide not to write anymore (very unlikely) it’s maybe because I found something more interesting to do. 

5)      I take it easy. I am any boss’ worst nightmare. I take it easy. I do things at my time. I have my creative processes, and I like them to be respected. But most importantly, I flow like a river. I don’t believe in rushing out. It is a recipe for mediocrity and disaster. This perfect earth took 4 billions of years to be in the form that you know it today. Talk about time. Nature’s processes are slow but quality is assured. I’m part of nature and I imitate its way. 

6)      I am a starter. I start projects, but I don’t stick around for too long. Not because I get bored easily (well, perhaps) but because I immediately find the need to create something new. Put it easy: when the work is done, it is done. There’s no need to review things or having second thoughts. If I deliver something is because it is good, and because I have done my best. If you don’t like it, well that’s your prerogative. Time to move on. 

7)      I’m constantly re inventing myself. Maybe you liked my facebook page because I was a “poet” Now suddenly I’m writing inspirational reflections. You say “What’s going on? I asked for Pablo Neruda and I got Deepak Chopra”. I’m sorry to disappoint you. Some people call it unpredictability, instability. I call it evolution. 

As you can see, I’m free as a bird. I prefer alternative ways of producing abundance. But maybe you fix in the traditional scheme of producing money. And maybe all what you need to do is to find that perfect job that resonates with the core of your being. As I told you before, being supremely unhappy with what you do, could bring you many unwanted consequences in every aspect of your life.

 Consequences when changing a career path?

Of course, there will be consequences. Like everything in life.

But in time, you will realize that it is a small price to pay for living the life of your dreams.

 In time you will realize that it is a small price to pay for the comfort of getting up with a smile on your face.

 In time you will realize that abundance and money don’t come only as a fruit of hard work. For this you need to be open to all the channels that God will use to provide you, and you cannot be picky about any of them.

Remember you give to the universe, not only through hard work, but through many different ways. And God returns the favor, through many different ways too.

When you declare your independence from conventionalisms, you may face times of what many people consider struggle. But at the end, you will blossom. You will become the person you were always meant to be.

And that is awesome!